My Valentine: Roger Clemens Former Nanny

Let’s get this out of the way: I think Clemens is guilty. And I love that we will forever be able to make “misremembering” and “bloody ass” jokes. But that’s not important right now.

What is of major fucking importance is Roger Clemens’ former nanny. Brian McNamee saw a woman in a bikini and was struck enough by her to inquire who she was - turns out it was Clemens’ nanny. That was ten years ago and McNamee recalled the bikini in perfect detail: “peach bikini with green in it and board shorts.”

This was at Jose Canseco’s house in 1998. Canesco’s problems are well documented but attracting hot women has never been one of them. Can you imagine how many gorgeous women were at this BBQ? A lot. So how hot was this nanny to stand out and make such an impression on McNamee?  Very hot.

(Note: I’ll never understand how wives let supermodel nannies get in the house. Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs Tiger Woods, was once a nanny for fellow golfer Jesper Parnevik. If that’s not an invitation for adultery then Ellen DeGeneres doesn’t have a penis. But I digress.)

The nanny’s name has been blacked out on all public documents. But in today’s world it is impossible to keep secrets so I’ll give it less than a week before the NY Post or TMZ has found her. Here @ FreeJose.com, we’ll be counting the days.

Whoops, gotta go. I misremembered to change the gauge on my bleeding abscessed buttocks. I hate it when that happens.