Sexiest Mayor 2008 Carmen Kontur-Gronquist
That picture of Carmen Kontur-Gronquist was taken in 2004 and got posted on her MySpace page shortly afterwards. Fast-forward to 2008 and she is now the mayor of Arlington, Oregon, a town of around 500 people that are furious about a public official posing for racy photos.
My take? Are you people freakin’ crazy? She looks fantastic and is a model of fitness. If every mayor had ripped abs like her to set an example for the youth, Jenny Craig would be bankrupt faster than you can say “Comfort eating.” I don’t even know where to start, but a few random thoughts:
1. There are still towns of 500 people in 2008? Really? And residents of said town have internet access? What the hell is going on here? This seems like a space-time continuum issue. Kind of like someone in 1850 showing off their HD TIVO to the other villagers. I’m completely confused. But I digress.
2. Carmen says a friend created the page and posted the photo to help spark her social life. Ha! Yeah, I bet its tough to get a date in Arlington, OR. Reminds me of the time I once got offered a job in Barrow, Alaska where the male-to-female ratio was 8-1. The saying there was “You don’t get a new girlfriend; you get somebody else’s.” Nuff’ said.
3. Can’t tell from other pictures and a lot can happen in four years, but let’s assume for a moment that Carmen still is jacked and pumped and didn’t go the way of Elvis Eminem. This is fate knocking, Carmen. You have the national spotlight, use it. Now. (Anyone remember ? Didn’t think so.) Here is what you need to do:
A) Move out of that backward, incestuous, Puritan hellhole. Los Angeles is where you need to be.
B) Shorten your name. No one wants to type “Kontur-Gronquist” in Google. Carmen Quist has a nice ring to it. It even works as a verb. Every guy you win over you can say he got quisted.
C) Call Hugh Hefner. This isn’t that different from the tale of Kyla Ebbert, the Hooters girl who got kicked off a plane for her provactive attire and landed in the page of Playboy. This is your chance to get paid. Take it.
D) If the new incarnation of American Gladiators hasn’t already been canceled, get yourself an audition. You’d be the second hottest girl on the show only after Gina Carano, who is also happens to be an MMA fighter.