Ashlee Wins

It’s over. Ashlee is now officially the hotter Simpson sister and I don’t see Jessica ever retaking the lead. Since her radical makeover, Ashlee has gotten better and better while older sister Jess, conversely, now looks like some dark, brooding, Mexican, transvestite wrestler.

I’m going to proactively address the “she is all fake” argument right now. Who cares? I don’t care if she got her looks from good genes, working out, or a surgeon’s knife. What’s the difference? If she looked fake then yeah - rip her.  She looks great. End of story.

It’s like when you starting dating a girl who is a freak in bed. Do you want to know where she picked up those tricks? Hell no! Same deal. Just take the end result for what it is. Or, as the great philosopher Chris Rock so eloquently put it, “Just be happy your fucking her now!”