Sheryl Crow Does Not Wipe Properly

The first word that comes to mind is disgusting. The second? Moron.

9 time Grammy Award winner Sheryl Crow said this on her blog recently:

“I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

(That’s verbatim - Yes, she couldn’t even spell “squares.” A typo? Maybe. But maybe not.)

That’s the high level concept. Now for the implementation details:

“Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.”

Ha! One square? One? My God. I am surprised she can play the guitar with all the poop on her hands. One! It is truly amazing that Lance stayed with her as long as he did. Sharing a bed with Sheryl Crow must be like diving into a septic tank on a hot summer day. Hell I bet after biking 112 miles through the Alps Armstrong still didn’t stink as badly as this filthy pig.

For the quintessential work on the subject, please read: How To Wipe Your Ass