This Week in Britney’s Vagin

*DEEP BREATH*

Britney Spears goes to rehab a second time.

And leaves AGAIN in less than 24 hours.

We find out it might have been a threatened drug test from KFED that caused Britney to shave her locks.

Her Ex-Nanny praises Britney for being the Dr Spock of the new millennium.

FED-EX demands a custody hearing to get his kids away from that lazy-eyed psycho. Yup, that’s how crazy this has gotten. Kevin Federline is the responsible parent.

A terrifying Britney attacks an SUV with an umbrella. Seriously, she looks creepier than Jim Carrey in the “The Number 23.”

Britney checks into rehab for a third time.

Jesus Christ - I’m exhausted. I can’t even begin to imagine what Britney Shears has in store for us next week.

A couple more things:

Dana Hamm finds the SI Swimsuit issue boring.  I completely agree.  Maxim and FHM have totally taken the excitement away.  We see hot girls in bikinis everyday now.

Tera Patrick is going mobile.

Kimberly Fischer is cleaning out her closet and giving away free stuff.

Lisa Fleming has a PO BOX for fans.

Sophia Rossi has a new movie coming out, Sophia Revealed.

Lindsay Lohan skips the Robert Altman Memorial to go clubbing.

Kim Kardashian sues to stop the sex tape release.

Oh, and that Paris Hilton Birthday I talked about last week? Not only did I not attend - neither did anyone else.